Consequences of Over Protected Children- Jordan Peterson


most children now have older parents

right because people aren't having

children until they're in their 30s and

there's a big difference between having

a parent who's in his or her 30s and

having a parent who's in her 20s yep

that the 20 year olds are still kind of

like kids and they're going to be more

usefully neglectful I would say well

look wonder one of the things we used to

do with my daughter when she was very

little was you know well she was about a

year and a half is we have her in a room

alone and she would usually complain

about that for a few minutes and then

she'd find a way to amuse herself you

know she she liked to take books out of

shelves and put them back in and like if

if you let her be get through that

initial bit of misery then she would

learn how to regulate herself and and

she got very good at that

and then so that's a good example of

minor privation having a positive

influence but you know children used to

have multiple siblings and siblings

toughen you up because there's

tremendous competition in families

amongst siblings and they had younger

parents who had fewer resources and you

know now parents are older first of all

and second they're more resource rich

and so they're more likely to schedule

their children to death in some sense to

provide them with all the opportunities

that they feel would be useful and

that's understandable and plus because

they have fewer children each child is

in some sense more precious you know not

like if you have ten children you don't

love all of them but you know there's

ten of them there's there's only so much

excess attention that can go around and

they do a lot of socializing each other

rather than being socialized by parents

but if you only have one child you know

you're gonna devote all your resources

to providing them with absolutely

everything you can provide them with and

one of the dangers of that is that

you'll over protect them and you'll

provide them with too much and we don't

understand those

Amyx right we don't understand how much

you should stay hands off your kids and

let them go out there and make their own

mistakes and and find their own way and

and that's that's well that's tricky and

and we're ignorant about it and so I

think one of the consequences of that is

that we do have a reasonable percentage

of young people maybe young adolescents

the kind that you hear about at

University who have been over protected

and over skinned over scheduled and

under challenged in some sense and so

they're not very resilient and that's

and then of course what's happening in

the universities the safe spaces and the

trigger warnings and all of that there's

good recent research on this trigger

warnings clearly make things worse

rather than than better we extend that

overprotection far longer than is

helpful you know it's hard though

because as I said when you have

resources you can use them to make your

children's lives let's say easier but

the question is like do you really want

to make the life of someone you love

easier and that's an incredibly

difficult question