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Impractical Jokers: Top You Laugh You Lose Moments (Mashup) | truTV

For the first time ever,

all four of us will be competing at the same time.

We'll be sitting in a waiting room among strangers,

secretly trying to make each other laugh.

If you laugh, you're eliminated.

And the last man standing will win.

♪♪

[ Cellphone beeping ]

[ Whispering ] 2...

...4...

Representative.

Representative.

Erectile dysfunction.

Erec--

Erectile dysfunction.

Call back.

I'm sorry.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Ah.

Hmm.

Sorry about that.

[ Zipper zips ]

Sexy selfie.

[ Camera shutter clicks, camera whirs ]

Multiracial selfie.

[ Camera shutter clicks, camera whirs ]

[ Belches ]

Excuse me. [ Belches ]

You guys all waiting for a photo shoot, too?

-Yeah. -What do you guys do?

Uh, I write.

What do you do?

If anybody wants my card.

I'm a [bleep] doctor.

[ Laughs ]

I'm a good gyne.

[ Buzzer ]

♪♪

"[Bleep] doctor."

And my whole bag of props, useless now

'cause he pulled out "[bleep] doctor."

Damn it.

Have you been at your craft a long time?

Six years now. I'm 40, so it took a while.

There was a lot of school.

It's been my experience,

you never end up where you started off at.

Yeah, my degree was finance.

Finance?

[ Wood knocking ]

Sorry?

I had an accounting degree coming out of college,

but I don't do it anymore.

[ Laughs ]

I was a CPA for a while.

Then I got into sales.

How's that working out?

It's great.

[ Q laughs ]

[ Laughs ]

[ Buzzer ] Q: There you go. Sal's out.

Come on down!

Damn it. Two dogs humping? I thought it was --

First of all, your ponytail

almost eliminated me from the walk in.

[ Laughs ] I know. I saw that.

Sal: And then there were two.

Uh-oh.

Q: [ Laughs ]

Did he just fart?

Man: Hey. Are you all right?

Yes. I slipped on the stupid pencils.

Q: Oh, you've got to get up and --

[ Laughter ]

[ Murr laughs ]

[ Buzzer ]

Q: Oh, Murray's out!

Gatto takes it with an ass to the face!

What an ending!

[ Laughter ]

Today, we're getting people's opinions about New York City,

but the real people getting docked is us.

While giving the survey,

the other guys will be behind that glass wall

that becomes see-through at the flip of a switch.

The goal is not to laugh,

but when that glass becomes see-through --

Whoo! Good luck with that.

♪♪

Sal: Right now, you have a black T-shirt on

with a sports jacket and long hair and scruff.

This is what middle-aged hip looks like, man.

I'd like to say it looks good on you.

Eh, you'd like to.

I'd like to.

[ Laughter ]

Murr: Here we go.

Fellas.

You starting it off?

I'm starting it off.

All right, Joe.

Go give them hell.

All right.

Name three pros and cons

about living in or near New York City.

Um, the pros, you know, entertainment all over.

Murr: What is that? What is that?

Public transit, you know, really...

Where I live, you kind of need a car,

but it's not necessary.

I mean, there are buses and stuff, so...

It's Joe being born out of an egg.

Um...

I don't think it's really too --

And it's kind of dirty, but nobody thinks it's --

[ Laughter ]

Something back there?

No, no.

There's a damn fly that's been going around all day.

Okay, that's hysterical.

We cracked up. He did a hard smile.

Really?

He just smiled.

He didn't break.

Damn.

Describe your dream apartment.

Here we go. Here we go. Here we go.

Well, um, you can get anywhere quickly by transit.

♪♪

[ Laughter ]

Murr: It's all of Q's firemen buddies!

[ Laughter ]

[ Laughs ]

Lots of space, you know?

Joe: That's a laugh.

Something like that.

Q: Downtown, they do a lot of that.

There is some weird [bleep] going on in New York City.

Got him!

Describe Prospect Park.

What I like about it most is that,

well, they have the summer concert in the summer.

[ Laughter ]

They have the, like, bands that play there,

so I've gone there for that.

Joe: This is our good friend Bryan Johnson.

He's from the TV show "Comic Book Men."

Sal: By the way, he brought his own shorts.

That's true.

The, uh -- what's the --

do you understand the alternate is to laugh?

Joe: Yeah!

Murr: Got you!

Do you understand

the alternate side of the street parking rule

at all in New York City?

'Cause I don't.

I don't know what's going on sometimes.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Joe: He's done!

♪♪

♪♪

I read online that you could eat it.

My favorite snack now.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Vomit.

♪♪

That's great.

That's like the "Where's the Beef" from the '80s.

I'm the beef. Yeah.

Where'd you get that?

This? Jersey Shore.

That's a great shirt.

I'm sorry, is there a bathroom here that I can use?

It's like straight down.

Down that hallway? Great, thanks.

Appreciate it.

[ Whirring ]

That is cool.

That is so cool.

♪♪

Sorry.

[ Stifled laughter ]

[ Buzzer ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Buzzer ]

Where did you get that thing?

What's that?

What is that thing?

It's great, right? It's luggage.

Damn it. Damn it.

Yeah, it's called the Modobag.

It's great.

Can't believe he did that.

Modobag?

M-O-D-O. Yeah.

[Bleep] you for riding off on a bag.

Hey, how's it going, bud?

Lamell, good to see you, pal.

-All right, I'm going first. -Yeah, go get them.

Okay.

Could you tell me a memory

that you have with a pet?

I had a dog named Pep.

Did you have responsibilities like change the litter box?

Always change the litter box, walk the dog,

clean up after them, as far as their living quarters.

And did you ever go to a pet park with them?

No.

No? No. Never? Okay.

No, man.

[ Laughs ] You never got to, huh?

[ Laughter ]

We got him!

I like kittens.

Do you agree that some things,

when they're little, they're cute,

and then when they grow up, they turn really ugly?

Like a baby ferret, for instance.

No.

No. You got the reverse.

That's great.

All right, I'm out.

Take me through a shopping experience for you

for clothing.

I look for things that I probably say

that I like, but not necessarily very pricey.

I'm not interested in paying more than

I need to for something that nobody's gonna know

it's a Gucci shirt or a Van Heusen shirt.

If you're spending more than 50 bucks for this shirt...

Yeah, if you spend that much, you're a turkey.

[ Laughter ]

That's a laugh. That's a laugh.

[ Laughing ]

...maybe I'll go a little bit high,

but like I said, I'm not going to...

[ Laughs ]

Okay, you want to talk me through

going to the grocery store?

Looking for whatever sales are there.

That's the first thing I always look for anytime I go somewhere.

Q: Oh, what's this?

Wanting to find out what selection's

on Monday, Wednesday, and then Friday...

Turn over.

It's every two or three days I go and constantly...

[ Laughs ]

Usually, it's the -- yeah.

Yeah, Joe, he --

[ Laughs ]

[ Speaking indistinctly ]

[ Laughs ]

That's a laugh! That's a laugh.

[ Laughs ]

Oh, man.

[ Laughter ]

♪♪

I got a pizza delivery for a Tanka Jahari?

I'm Tanka Jahari,

but I would...never order a whole pizza for myself.

I mean, I'll take it, but...

Here.

I mean, you guys have to believe me.

I would never order a whole pizza just for myself.

No.

It's, like, totally not mine, but I am Tanka Jahari.

I mean, I don't even -- it's not even my pizza.

I don't even -- Oh. It's not my pizza.

I would never eat a whole pizza by myself.

I would never even eat it. I would never eat...

I'm not gonna, like, not -- not waste food, though.

That's fine, Tanka.

[ Sal laughs ]

Well, I'm sorry. Made a mess.

It's not my fault!

♪♪

[ Sighs ]

They could get more comfortable chairs.

Joe had to call me Tanka.

I get -- get bit by my own joke.

♪♪

I'm fascinated by the glass.

When we thought of this bit,

we had no idea this technology existed.

Is that, like, ions?

Is that negatively charged ions?

I think it's magic.

[ Laughter ]

-Hello. Hi. -Elizabeth.

-Elizabeth. -Yeah.

Oh, please, have a seat, Elizabeth.

How are you today? -Good.

So, I'll just be asking you questions.

Let's go.

Where are you from?

I grew up in St. Louis.

You live in New York City?

Yeah, so I'm based here now.

So, tell me about your daily eating habits.

They've gotten better.

I used to eat more junk food.

[ Breathing deeply ]

You go -- you shop in the same place every week?

Yeah, I go -- I have this --

I like Italian at this one place.

[ Traditional Japanese music plays ]

That's just namaste.

What social-media sites are you a member of?

Twitter, facebook.

-Do you have cable? -I do.

How long have you had cable for?

Um, gosh.

Since, like, college.

So I always had a cable Internet connection.

I'm a techie, so, like, I hook --

instead of having, like, cable...

Murr: Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

[ Laughter ]

[ Laughs ]

Sorry. Do you prefer to shop

alone or with someone?

Don't do that.

Don't turn around. Don't.

Like, shopping sucks sometimes.

-Oh! -Sorry. There's a fly.

-Oh. -There's -- a bug got in here.

It looked like it was gonna land on your head.

I didn't... -Okay. [ Laughs ]

-Wow! -Yeah, I prefer to shop alone.

Things are getting real in here.

[ Laughter ]

All right, you guys are up.

So, luxury brands.

So, I had a wallet before this one, and then,

once I had that one for five years,

then I got a new one.

So I kind of like stick with it.

-Okay. -[ Laughing ] Oh, my God.

Do your friends use it?

Sal: [ Laughing ] Oh, my God.

Do -- I mean, not, like, often, like, I guess,

economically speaking, they don't have the same,

I guess, income resources as I do.

So I think they would love to if they could afford it.

Movies -- we didn't talk about movies yet, right?

Thank God.

[ Laughing ] How did you not laugh?

Okay, how often do you go to the movies?

It's usually, I mean, twice a month...

It's -- it's Godzilla!

...or as much as once a week.

-Oh, my God! -Aaah!

Uh...

What's the last movie you saw?

[ Laughter and applause ]

-Aaaah! -Aaaah!

"Wolf of Wall Street."

[ Laughter ]

[ Laughs ]

[ Buzzer ]

[ Laughing ] -He's laughing.

♪♪

[ Woman laughs ]

A Shake Weight?

I ain't seen one of them in a long time.

They started selling them again. They're back.

They actually make a bigger one, too, so it's...

♪♪

I just do it when I'm in my waiting rooms.

It's how I get the toned.

♪♪

That's all it takes -- three minutes a day.

It's good to have a regimen, though.

Woman: Yeah.

♪♪

♪♪

Woman: Oh, my God.

♪♪

It's yogurt.

It's an odd choice to eat out of your fly.

I'll save it for later.

♪♪

[ Cellphone rings ]

Oh.

That time.

♪♪

♪♪

[ Laughs ]

♪♪

[ Buzzer ]

I'm not staying here anymore.

[ Exhales sharply ]

♪♪

Woman: Okay.

The hell did I lose again?

Do one minute every three days, yeah,

and that's how I keep this physique.

♪♪

Q: Sal brought a human prop?

[ Laughs ]

[ Child cries ]

Woman: That's your kid?

[ Crying ]

Q: [ Laughs ]

Murr: It's okay, buddy, it's okay.

[ Crying ]

It's okay.

Q: Sal, you're gonna make yourself laugh, you stupid ass!

[ Laughs ]

You made yourself laugh, you moron!

[ Laughing ]

I kamikazed it.

♪♪

Oh, man, that was unbelievable.

[ Laughs ]

[ Laughing ] I got myself...

I couldn't take it.

The kid started crying.

And now he has to go the rest of term

with a child on his lap?

[ Laughs ]

His next thing, he has to do with the kid.

Q: Look at those nipples.

[ Both laugh ]

Sal: Look at Joe's face -- Joe's face.

Is that amusement? Is it disgust?

Is it bewilderment? What is that?

[ Cellphone rings ]

-Ohp. -Oh, no.

Please, God, no.

♪♪

[ Laughs ]

♪♪

Where the [bleep] are you going?

[ Both laugh ]

♪♪

[ Laughter ]

[ Sneezes ]

[ Laughter ]

I eat a half an apple every four days.

[ Both laugh ]

Today, we're at Focus Plus competing head to head

in a focus group as participants answering a questionnaire.

Here's the catch -- the guys participating in the focus group

have written the answers for each other.

At the end,

we'll ask the group to vote

on whose answers were the worst.

If the group votes you out, you lose.

[ Laughter ]

How you guys doing?

Murr: This is

our buddy James McCarthy.

He is the moderator

of this focus group today.

Now, Sal wrote all Joe's answers,

Joe wrote all Sal's answers.

And the group is gonna vote

who they would not have back

in the next group.

Here we go.

Imagine you're starting a city from scratch...

Jennifer, what'd you have?

Joe?

Um...

I put the man that made birth control.

[ Laughter ]

Don't know his name,

but I'm pretty sure it was a man.

But I know his work.

[ Laughter ]

Q: Look at Sal!

Start back down here.

I put toothless tigers, um, could roam the streets

so that kids can pet them and then they can't bite

or anything like that.

-What?! -[ Laughs ]

How do you get their teeth out?

A grown tiger's teeth -- You just pull them?

Thank you, yeah.

Get her on board.

-Joe? -I would do...

I'd have some serial killer go off,

then later, when things die down --

pun intended -- we'd do murder tours.

[ Laughs ]

What?!

I know mine was outside the box,

but to have a serial killer just go off?

Well, it's really a means to an end 'cause you really want that.

There goes Joe.

You really want that murder-tour money.

-[ Laughs ] -You might not have the funds...

Joe looks like

a serial killer right now.

He does. Look at his eyes.

...knowledge or with great...

[ Laughter ]

Sal?

I put mostly nice people but a few bums, too, probably.

[ Laughter ]

Jennifer?

Joe?

Of course, I thought hopefully it's a melting pot.

I'd like to know people of other races --

Indian, Asian, African, South American,

Antarctican, Puerto Rican, and women.

And I thought also it might be cool

to have some winners of "The Voice" there.

Q: [ Laughs ]

Sal's losing it.

-Look at Sal. -Sal's losing it!

[ Laughter ]

Tears just right down his face.

You wrote it.

How could you find it --

'Cause hearing Joe say it is a different thing, right?

Karen...

Offer them affordable housing.

Fantastic. Joe?

The first thing that came to my mind

was I would burn a neighboring city.

Q: [ Laughs ]

-Sal. -Sal.

The other thing, actually,

is I was thinking,

like, a steaming, giant pile of baked ziti

in the center of town.

-Of what? Of what? -Baked ziti.

Like a big thing of baked ziti, Mike,

and everybody could just come and eat it.

Murr: [ Laughs ]

Sal, what would you do

to encourage people to move to your city?

I would have elective arranged marriage program

for hopeless singles over 33 years old.

You love it?

Oh, my God!

They love Sal's ideas.

Yeah. He seems so sensitive.

-Yeah, well, he was crying. -And he was crying.

[ Both laugh ]

James: Great, so what we're gonna do now --

I just need you guys to write down the name

of the person you would not bring with you

to the city you'd build.

I think

Joe's getting voted out.

[ Chuckling ] Yeah, I think so.

So, the person the group wouldn't bring is...

Joe.

-[ Laughs ] -Wow.

Nice job, Sal. Good answers.

Nice job, buddy.

[ Ding! ]

Very good.

[ Buzzer ]

All right, if you liked -- if you like that,

you're gonna love "In the Dog House."

A former salesman with an eating disorder

has his life ruined when his foreign --

when his foreign wife

can't stop bringing home bichon frises and spending money,

driving him into madness

and murdering in this harrowing drama.

[ Laughing ] It's Joe! It's a description of Joe!

-This sounds like -- -My life.

I probably would watch it. Is it a comedy?

Make no mistake -- there's nothing funny about this one.

Yeah, this is just a straight-up drama.

[ Both laugh ]

You're up. I'm gonna take a little time.

It's called "Chillin' With Mr. Broadway,"

and it's a multi-cam comedy

which brings Morgan Freeman back to series television

as a mythical and mystical Lord of Broadway.

Each episode deals with...

[ Laughing ]

[ Laughs ] Continue.

[ Laughter ]

-Go ahead. It's great. -I wanna hear it.

Each episode deals with the Lord of --

[ Laughing ]

-Hold on. -Wait for it.

[ Laughter ]

He's gone!

-Here, I'll help you out. -I can't even read it!

Each episode deals with the Lord of Broadway's

ever-growing harem of chorus girl and choir boys,

in which he secretly controls

New York City's financial nucleus.

[ Both laugh ]

That makes no sense.

It's Morgan Freeman. You can't beat.

I mean, Morgan Freeman's played those kind of roles

the last 20 years.

Yeah, he plays good roles.

[ Both laugh ]

So, if you had to pick one,

who would you say has the more marketable ideas?

I'm gonna go with yours.

Mine? Okay.

-Tiebreaker. -Yeah, yours.

Me? Oh, that's me!

Oh, you got one, though.

Murr: Joe wins.

How you doing? Joe.

Murr: Now, Joey's traditionally been

very, very good at this game, right?

[ Sighs ]

I don't give a [bleep] what he's been.

[ Laughter ]

Tell me a little bit about food availability

in your neighborhood.

Murr: Here we go, Joey.

Just things have changed, and it's, like,

how many restaurants that come in and out.

Murr: Oh. Oh!

I mean, it's a pretty good bar area,

so they have, like, the...

Murr: It's our friend Rob Emmerett.

[ Laughter ]

And plus, also just living on the Lower East Side,

like, there are so many things

that are just open late at night.

[ Laughter ]

Do you normally have delivery or --

You see Rob always brings the goods.

Okay, and talk to me about breakfast.

So, breakfast, do you...

Joe just asked the hard-hitting question,

"Talk to me about breakfast."

[ Laughter ]

I find myself usually going to brunch in, like,

East Village, that, like, kind of SoHo area,

and it has some healthy options and...

[ Laughter ]

Murr: Oh, my God!

Okay, brunch is good.

Just, like, an egg dish or --

Murr: Wow.

Joe, look at the middle lady.

Oh, my God!

[ Laughter ]

Who eats a hot dog like that?

Avocado toast with like --

I'm a big fan of --

I just recently got into the avocado toast.

How did he not laugh?

Yeah, he didn't laugh.

Okay, so talk to me about lunch.

Lunch?

[ Laughter ]

All right. We're sending the big gun -- our big gun.

Well, I love it just 'cause it's so close to me.

Like...

Q: Oh, it's Simmy!

That is Simmy Kustanowitz,

the network executive from truTV.

Well, it's at my favorite venue, Bowery Ballroom,

and then the time before that,

I saw Maren Morris, who's, like, a country singer.

Oh! Is he gonna share the doughnut with you, Joe?

Went to the Grammys.

Oh!

Joe gets no doughnut. No doughnut!

Oh, no!

...'cause it's so small and, like, intimate so you can --

Talk to me about snacks.

[ Laughter ]

Hey, Sal, this is what the kids call a walk in the park.

We have to get you to laugh.

[ Laughter ]

You guys all talk

a good game.

You all keep talking this good game.

-All right. -You watch. Look at me.

-Ready? -Yeah.

Watch this.

-Ooh. -Ohh.

-All right. -Ohh!

Fart noise.

[ Laughs ]

[ Laughter ]

I didn't even make the fart noise.

I said the words "fart noise."

That's what was funny about it.

Hey, how are you, bud?

What's going on? My name's Sal.

Zachary? Pleasure to meet you.

Let me go help this guy.

Yeah, go get him, Tiger.

How often do you feel the need to update

your software and things like

that kind of stuff?

I mean, I have a laptop, but I really don't use it

anymore because of the new technology...

-Right. -...like the smartphones

and things like that. It's just...

As far as -- sorry.

I'm trying to think, 'cause we go through

all the things we have.

Oh, it's not over yet, buddy.

This is gonna haunt your dreams, my friend.

Talk to me about your opinions on the subway system.

Depending on public transportation,

as far as -- there's a lot of idiotic people

that's on the train that does stupid things

just to hold the train door, so...

[ Laughs ]

...for no reason at all.

[ Coughs ]

They have nothing better to do or anywhere --

anywhere else to go.

-Oh, my God! -I know. [ Laughs ]

Ohh!

They do have good plans for public transportation

-and a good... -Oh, my God!

Subway system sucks.

Yeah, the train is horrible.

The train is awful.

Yeah, as far as getting around to the, like,

different boroughs.

I'm next. Let's see what I got up my sleeve.

Just please elaborate on...

Q has guaranteed us that he's got this.

I trust him.

-He's got it. -He's got it.

Do you online bank?

-Yes, I do. -Okay.

[ Wagner's "Bridal Chorus" plays ]

[ Laughs ]

Joe: It's your father...

marrying Q!

He's not giving him away.

[ Laughter ]

Aah!

You may now kiss the bride!

[ Laughter ]

Oh, we're done. We're done here.

We're done here.

[ Buzzer ]

[ Laughter and applause ]

-It's all right. -You know, you usually laugh

the hardest when you're not supposed to laugh, right?

That's right.

Sometimes we just can't stop laughing.

We can't hold it together.

We put together

a couple clips for you

of us all breaking.

Let's take a look.

How many

of these can you fit --

[ Laughs ]

[ Laughing ] How long are you in town?

How long are you in town?

I'm so sorry!

I'm so sorry! [ Laughing ]

"The most private things I'd

like to admit is...

my breath smells like fingers."

[ Laughing ]

Keep it together. Keep it together.

[ Laughter ] He can't keep it together.

[ Laughter ]

Ow! [ Laughs ]

[ Laughing ]

"Other ways to lose your identitties."

There -- there's a...

[ Laughing ]

I can't do it.

I can't -- I can't do it.

I can't do it. I can't do it.

There's the Deluca boy.

[ Laughs ] I'm sorry.

You want to come on, man?

What? Sal's gone.

We doggies, don't you know?

[ Laughter ]

Yes.

Here we go.

That is...

[ Laughs ]

It looks like...

me stepping on Chinese children.

[ Sniffles ]

I just got emotional.

We've known each other 24 years now.

That was the hardest I think I've ever seen you laugh.

You have the thing in your ear, too,

and everybody's laughing in your ear.

That's what you guys maybe don't get at home, I guess.

-Right, right. -'Cause, like, I hear you guys

laughing in that, as well.

See, I usually hear you guys laughing at me.

[ Laughter ] -Yeah, yeah.

We laugh at you a lot.

No kidding you laugh at me a lot.

You're a jerk, but you're our jerk.

All right, well, I'll take that.