Ninja is the funniest minecraft player ever

hey stick with me no no don't go don't

go near that man ninja ninja i'm going

to give you a brief history of the


don't go near that green no come here no

no no no don't go near him

yeah ninja join dream server

listen i'm a pretty ambitious guy i like

speaking to people and people

love speaking to me so when ninja

followed me on twitter i just knew i had

to reach out and surprisingly enough

he got back to me and we played

minecraft on dream

server for the first time now if you

don't know ninja uh he's this guy

and also the most famous gamer in the

world so playing minecraft with him

it's a pretty big step up for for both

of us but it was a pretty it was a

pretty big day for ninja uh i'd say

by the way i'll be real with you um

please subscribe you know i can sit here

and go hey guys

guys please or i'll just be honest with

you you know if you enjoy

just please check the subscribe button i

don't want to bother you but if you can

just check the subscribe button that

helps out the channel

so much that's all i ask but now now

you've done that uh let's get back to

the start of the stream

when i just logged on the server should

we go see what ninja's doing on his

stream oh he's just playing

he's just playing without me

nice nice 360.

oh i think maybe we tuned in at a bad

time to ninja stream i

yeah it was time to go and talk to ninja

no no

are you ready hello ninja

hello tommy do you go by tyler or


or ninja laminator big dicky

lil dicky uh ty ty

tyler one of the things

you've got to quickly understand about

big ninja blevins

is that he's quite an unusual guy how

are you big t

big man big ninja now i'm doing much

better now i just got hit with a burst

of energy i'm pretty

jacked all right you pick ninja simp's

dream as your username

it was supposed to be ninja in it but

that one didn't get why this is hey hey

i'm here

welcome welcome to the dream

what sorry what did you just

you're a you're a steve listen you know


this all of this

let's keep walking you are yeah okay

okay yeah i got nothing where were you

going with that

um you know

i can give you some food if you like

there's a couple people on there

yeah me and him go way way back you know

his mom actually used to call

okay let's keep walking are you on some

red bull you know i have some red bull

behind me

uh but no more i'm on a coffee grind

right now i'm actually starting to get

the shakes a little bit

this is someone behind you hey stick

with me no no don't go don't go near

that man ninja ninja i'm gonna give you

a brief history of the server



it's okay ignore my buddy no what the

[ __ ] is wrong with

he's not glowing he's just green how

much do you know about this server

um can i be honest no i know what i know

okay all right okay

you stealing my exp bro i don't want

your ex

how much okay how much do you know about

the server can i be honest

yeah i know everything okay so this is

kind of

wasting my time okay you see that tower

right there yeah

that's that's that's you know

come up here ninja i'm

this is the dream smp this is one of the

shittiest lands i'd say

so down here you can see you see that

big flying thing that's


what's wrong with you how do you know


yes what do you know about tubbo what

isn't there to know about tub oh man you

don't know everything about it

his name is tom and uh don't look

directly at it

call me i will okay come here come on

ninja come in they sprint

okay walk past this man i don't i do not

know what happened to his neck but

go go go go go go so here we had a big

old war on this side oh i almost ate

rotten flesh sorry okay big water

so we had a war for my music disc

because i have some music discs of mine

nation well i did i won the first one me

and tub over there

man good for you for being dream server

you think you would have won that huh

yeah you would have oh you should say

that to us but what the

okay look past that boy look past what


yeah good answer he's so clingy by the

way don't don't make eye contact with

him because he'll [ __ ] cling to you

oh okay okay

okay so this was the la manburg ninja

this was where we we started a nation

and we won we won that war because dream

wouldn't let us start a nate

dream wouldn't let us start a nation uh

but we made our own ninja

you're doing a bit you're being a bit

obnoxious with your amount of nodding

you're doing

i need you can you

okay no i can't i can't deal with two of

this man

no no you said you would protect me

okay i'm trying i think i know where i'm

going actually i i

i don't see you i'm waiting for you

where are you you're not

good are you i see a fox okay okay ninja

where are you i'm at the path i'm at the

prime path

here's the prime pad but i respawned and

put me away yeah in your little box man

get out you get out your box

i'm not in my box okay i think i found


okay we're good i know exactly where i

am you don't yeah i just

i have chad i have no idea i i have oh

dream um come here

show me the way dream no no no no no no

ninja i'm giving you the tall pile i'm

giving you

something you want to ignore dream i

haven't got to look at him i'm not even

going to

oh my god he's making noises dude

ninja stop being stop being an idiot i'm

following dreams

stop [ __ ] okay okay stop it stop it

stand still where you are stranger


stranger danger listen you better get

your [ __ ] ass over your mind no i'm

trying to get my ass

but you don't describe me

oh wait you're showing he's showing me

to you now i lost him oh i found him ah

you're being on crap thinking [ __ ] ninja

you're pissing me off i'm not gonna lose

you're pissing me off

i feel like i'm about to be laid down a

dark alley right now man i don't [ __ ]

trust dream bro

he looks like a zombie can you find me

please i'm trying

to you know okay yeah you stand

completely still he's [ __ ] running

right at me and he's gonna start hitting


he's hitting me he's punching me he's

hitting me with a steak he's slapping me

with his meat tommy

i don't know why but it feels so good

ninja let's let's let's have that talk

hey hey hey

hey hey ninjas

um i feel like i might i might be a

little a little more pg than you ninja

you seem to be pushing the boundaries of

comedy ninja i'm 16. five-year-olds

won't understand that reference

yeah ninja i'm 16. okay now ninja i'm

gonna show you le man burke now

i don't know how quickly i'm going to

show you what used to be the man


leave me got it you got it alone tell

them to leave us alone ninja

i know i know i don't want to take care

of this talk okay yeah you go all right

hey dream

all right there you go dream you should

be good for her ninja you you got to be

a little bit more pg

about them but the chats aren't going to

be too happy with that okay

okay you're going to get real along well

with george not found i

oh you're a little you're a little sus

ninja yeah

listen man the best relationships are a

little suss you know what i'm saying


come with me ninja i'm gonna i'm gonna

take you to our secret base pal ninja

whilst we walk i've got some questions

for you just so i know if you're a good


who's your favorite woman i hear a woman

my wife

and then my mother and not the queen

listen okay the only queen in my house

is my wife

but of course the the queen is is is

okay you're really fast you must have

some you must have some uh

ninja adidas shoes on


okay okay okay okay ignore this

ignore this small man ignore this small

man now ninja

technoblade told me that apparently this

chest is for me from dream

uh this is what stuff for you [ __ ] oh my

god holy [ __ ] don't take any of this i

will murder you this is dream's bow

okay he let me say he slid me a dm's

ninja i need that sword this is my story

i found it i'm gonna count down from


uh-huh five i don't know right click

that bed ninja uh-huh wait press q

actually press q okay

nothing happened press q on your

keyboard q

okay oh you [ __ ] don't you dare stab me

drop the sword right click the bed so i

can murder you

right click the button

okay i'm going to read this tommy i knew

this time would probably come slat is no

wilber would you agree with that

ninja oh 100 it's not even yes but you

know what is it though

i mean i don't trust all those cards i

can throw them this time i can't involve


technically is technically a democratic

if you need my just just leave them i'm

looking at i'm looking in his eyes i

can't look away

okay no you [ __ ] up ninja you are

[ __ ] you've got a new best friend for

life now

now farewell from the shadows big d i'm

calling him big d

again why is that dog growling you know

like did you punch it

i'm not gonna take what that's what okay

listen to me i i've been

meaning to say this for the past while

what is wrong with you

is what we're gonna do and i want you to

meet some of the locals

really friendly and i love meeting new

people it's kind of like

a gift and a curse

you seem like a real big man can i call

you you just you give me big man vibes i

mean i'm six two and a half so

you're oh i'm six three you know

how the [ __ ] is he always there he's

always in front of us man

this is gonna be a real test for you now

this guy he might try and sell you [ __ ]

i don't just don't buy into him

okay hey big q calling big q ninjas

thank you wait can you just come over

here with me for a second i just want to

speak to you

just go actually just come in this room

with me big jesse

uh one minute ninja okay

he's weird

what do you do i don't know you need to

go sort him out big q

go sort him out

hi quack




the knocks yeah they're narcs



thank god you gotta i said i told you if

you want to sell to ninja you have to

keep all the clothes on

my back right right click that bell

right click that bed oh i want to show

you something first off first off this

is for you

this is for you please yeah

you just destroyed it you [ __ ]

destroyed it it's right here it's right



ninja do you see it's just click

i see some cocoa beans

good powder ninja buy the powder off him

this is what you want this is what you


this is what you want ninja you said you

like drugs


he slipped and fell you saw it right i

didn't say

anything i didn't see [ __ ]


the thing about turbo before i add him

to the call he um he has a lot of

personalities he might be

tubo he might be uh he might be big law

it might be big crime he's a very he's a

very intricate boy okay i'm going to add

turbo to the kong

kobo yeah meet ninja yo what's up who am

i talking to here man

you're the lord the lord

what would you like to would you like to



okay get in the [ __ ] toilet you were

big you were a big religious man

blev oh yeah yeah you know man i uh i

believe in a higher power man and uh

was raised raised yeah


all he knows is the lord

i like your hair is that your hair

tommy you're very confident you walk

backwards a lot man i mean yeah

it's because i know where i'm walking uh

oh walk past i don't know what

i don't know what you did to big q ninja



okay you don't have me no no it's not

this is my [ __ ] house

i think we should build you a house

though oh you wait you haven't already

built me one

no so you invite me on your server

and i don't even have a place god you're

so you're so

who are you people you're so rich you

live in the holy water

that uh i'm just gonna i'm just gonna

let it take me you know or that's the

lord's wishes follow the messiah's palm

no no don't go down there you'll die

you'll die

yeah no you'll die you want to have a

house here we could make you a humble


what if you put my house on top of yours

i think we might need legal assistance

yeah you're a bit clingy ninja

okay ninja we can you can have a house

opposite my house how does that sound

yeah that sounds great man i didn't know

you'd come around yeah

we won't be bunk buddies i don't want to

bunk with you ninja

that's fair yeah okay we're gonna go get

you some trees

oh my god you're taking me to paris i've

never been i have been this is

no this is i've never seen this this is

skeppy's house we're gonna chop down

we need to chop down some trees mate

because we've got to get you a house

going what type of house do you like

i can build someone by once pretty quick

i don't wanna

uh but i would like you know one made of

wood metal

brick maybe some windows greedy no no no

no no no no

okay we're gonna make it out of wood

what the f okay

ignore him ignore him he's kind of

terrifying man

the [ __ ] oh yeah wait it's fine it's

fine i mean we could just take some wood

off the eiffel tower if you want no

one's going to notice yeah

i don't think anyone cause if you just

look at it from really far away you

won't even

just just steal some of this no one's

going to notice all right sounds good

was really embarrassing why is everyone

is your is your chat screaming at you

right now

mine yeah my chat's getting very upset

are yours

no that's the honeymoon no

yeah okay let's let's sprint back home

ninja place down somewhere

go go go go go go go go go go go go go

go go go go sorry i keep calling you

ninja i'm just i'm gonna call you blev

do you like your name

i love blood first off my brother was

known as who's that oh it's qui hey

quack man what's up big q why do you


ninja ninja i feel like i have just been

off way more than i could chew

and who did i just piss off by breaking

that man

tommy ninja ninja

some of the basic resources take i want

to see i want to see your vision

you're making it huge what do you know

how big my contract

your contract i mean i have

i have a big lifestyle

how much money do you make uh probably

around a dollar an hour

you ever take a couple million

but i actually i actually make a lot

when i start to throw in uh

some of some of the big q's tactics you


drugs yeah yeah you're a drug dealer

what do you make of tubbo

i don't have a good read on him yet you

know i think he's i think he's awesome

that's my current read

but it could change pretty quickly how

does how does one uh

meet those requirements awesome you

gotta get more of those cocoa beans


i didn't find the cocoa beans uh the

[ __ ] you say to me a little [ __ ]

tell me what more they do tell me what

more you do please just don't say that

to me i can't have that clip i can't

have that clip it's just a lot of pains

ninja i love pains

yeah yeah i like it let me get you a

sign let me get you a sign

so people know it's yours your whole

your whole yeah why would you place it


i have two yeah

ninja i'll give you one more sign but

can you put it here please so so people

know it's your home


what's up why why'd you why did you say

the code word why'd you press the pack


the panic the panic button yeah you said

that if you messaged me that one word it

meant that you're uncomfortable and you

needed me to come help you out

i'm here am i making you uncomfortable


no no no no no no we'll be just go just

go we'll go no no no no no no no no no

no no no no

no i'm coming on i'm coming on no no no


put that sword away put that away

uh hi george why are his eyes open

those are glasses yeah you know about

him i mean you know about his condition

don't you ninja

um this is awkward wilbur just just talk

to him talk to him tommy it's fine

hi george [ __ ] i [ __ ] up who the hell

is your egg

nice eyes oh that was the one thing

you're not meant for

you gotta get ready to run you gotta get

ready run you get it

so bald run run be toxic ninja ninja be


i'll be toxic holders oh okay

oh yes

okay ninja if i add him to the call can

you just be really toxic we will be as


yeah me and wilbur because if we all

bully the same guy then it's okay

yeah oh hey george what is going on you

look bad today

how do i look tired i mean have you seen

those glasses man come on bro

oh that's too far okay

he has a condition he hasn't conditioned

there are bridges we do not cross

hey george i think uh the color blue is


and you know what you're bad for

enjoying it i like blue

blue hates you did you not listen to

what i just said

jesus hey hello

what the [ __ ]

i didn't even let him he just did it

good on you before i even knew it was



what is going on

well his aim his aim and his arrows

yeah you do man hey you want some steak

bud i really do i only have

three all right here you go man i'm just

gonna give you always

you're welcome you're welcome i'll try

i'll give you something back yeah

you have quite the appetite george you

can have you can have that

five kilograms of gold everyone knows

that golden god is [ __ ] george

okay ninja ninja be polite because this

is your first date man no no

turn around turn around this is good for

you this would be really good for us if

you if you get a date with the

one of the vice presidents uh wilbur

what are you doing

no no no no no no no no no no no no wall

down there

take this ring you guys are going to

have to give them to each other actually

no no george i've got a different


yeah yeah get in there get i've got

rings for you what is can you guys tell

me uh george what's the

antithesis of i don't it's i do

yeah yeah you're right ninja



you've done this you've done it for us

ninja you've got it right it's for the


sorry i tried to give away


that's not the right way to go that's

not the right way to go he's gonna be

doing the mining in this relationship

can you do this for us get in with the

vice president for when that visa


you can get us some big intel he's kind

of stupid there's no way he'll [ __ ]

suspect it


uh i don't know like

maybe get me some visas or something

for like a for like a friend ninja do

the thing we do the thing we pressure

index fingers together

i was wondering if

you could maybe visa for me

there's a man called um dream he's

actually in your ign

stop holding a sword whenever we start

talking what the [ __ ]

there's a man called dream and he's

gonna be [ __ ] pissed off at you other

than that good work

hey take this oh wrenches

wondering if you could maybe


make some visas for wilbur

maybe one more visa for tommy in it

maybe i give you i give you plenty of

this tonight

away from this yes i can't i just don't


hey he'll be quiet now he'll be quiet

now he'll be quiet

george how many visas have you signed


it's the best day of his life this is

the best day ever

for ninja yes yes the best day of

ninja's life yeah i got you i got you i

got you

did it it's um kind of

it says i am married smile signed goggy

and then ninja has not written his name

in but he has

like signed the book where can i read it

can i read it you can read that read

that check that out also okay

georgia stay

no no no no get that sword away

tell me to do something one more time


please please please please no no please

don't you please please it's all right

i'm going to die no no please please

stand behind the sand ninja listen to me

you're being irrational just listen to


look at me in the eye oh yeah have some

steak have some steak yeah yeah look at

us we're friends

or you're doing this for the good of the

good of pog topia

you're on our side ninja ninja are you a

villain or a good guy

i like to play a little bit of both you


yes this is just what your husband wants

claire tommy and

may have one free pass for one hour

under constitutional law okay

ninja ninja come this way ninja ninja

can you bump this up to one hour thirty

maybe two hours

then we could then we can work with this

just come on


i'm walking and um oh my god two block

distance please

that's your husband judge i'm your

husband i mean

i was wondering i was wondering extend

the time

by like when you sign that for a three


extension your eyes really shine and


three hour extension is that gonna be

four hours total or three hours total

we can make a total three hours i mean

three hours

i think okay honestly i think four hours

calm down calm

three hours how about that take a look

at it take a look at it for three hour

but one week of social service for tommy

and wilbur

and jail time god ninja is so okay you

can't read that very cute did you write


maybe mommy will write secondly no don't

read it out loud

stop hugging the book jesus dude

the only person that signed this is


ninja signature no he said no he

properly signed it he properly signed it

why did you name the document

blev what

can we say our goodbyes ninja it's been

an honor touring you around the server

dude i appreciate it man thank you for

your hospitality you know i really

thought i was just gonna

get a tour and now now you're martin